The Best Damn Pub in Plymouth!

On Januay 19th I arranged for fourteen rogues to go and see Northampton Saints play Plymouth Albion at The Brickyard rugby football ground. Now the Saints are currently beating all and sundry on their return journey to the Premiership, so I had no doubt that this would be the case when they travelled to the South West. We hired the Coleridge Bus, this is a locally provided service that allows people in outlying villages the ability to get to Kingsbridge, the nearest town of any size, where their location is not on a recognised bus route. The bus arrived at 11:00 and after a civilised cup of coffee we headed off to Plymouth. On our arrival we disembarked in the Barbican (http://www.plymouthbarbican.com/) there was general consensus that we should find a suitable hostelry in which to quench our thirsts. Above the cacophony of voices came the suggestion from someone, you the reader, are now familiar with; yes that's right Statler - Mr. K. "Let's go to Three Crowns. He pointed behind us and we looked at a large grey building and we duly headed over to it with a full kitty and high expectations. Okay, that's the nice wway to put it! The place was a dive, you needed at least three ASBOs to gain entry. They served their beer in plastic glasses and nobody was able to finish their drinks. The beer actually looked like Bisto, only Bisto tatstes better. I found a site on the internet that people have left comments on regarding this fine watering hole. http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/28/281/Three_Crowns/Plymouth

On leaving the place Mr. K. then announced that he had never actually been in it, but had sat outside in the summer with a friend and it had seemed alright then!

Not to be deterred, we crossed the road and went into the Navy. I thought this was a good pub. They had a good selection of beers and everyone was enjoying themselves. the pièce de résistance had to be the vending machine in the gents toilets. It was enormous and for those of you not familiar with toilet vending machines let me start by saying that they normally have one or two types of condom, occasionally they may even have toothpaste and brush sets, but this thing was the Mother of toilet vending appliances. It contained condoms (5 varieties), toothbrushes, wet wipes - now it gets interesting - Vibrators (two types) and a blow up sheep. The one thing I didn't notice that would have been handy was a shoe cleaning set, because most blokes managed to pee on their shoes whilst studying this amazing piece of vending architecture.

We left the Navy and got back onto the bus for the short hop to the ground. The match itself was good value for money. Northampton won 44-5, but the score did not reflect Plymouth's comtribution to the match. Plymouth gave the Saints a good run for their money during the first half and came very close to getting a try near to the whistle. In the second half the fitness levels of the two teams provided a stark contrast. Plymouth visibly flagged and the Saints cleaned up with speed and flair.

We headed back to Kingsbridge and visited The Creek's End and The King of Prussia before going to eat at Cafe Asia. The food was tremendous and with everyone sat down I proceeded to hand out fines. I am not one for humiliating people, but Mr. K. gained the lions share of fines, his main offence being our having to suffer The Three Crowns in Plymouth. We raised a reasonable sum and this helped to pay for the food. Our bellies full, we headed to bak to The Provi' and more beer to round the day off. Now on the short journey back to the bus our beloved Satler managed to walk into the ladies loos in Kingsbridge, so I felt it necessay to hand out further fines on our arrival at the pub. Sadly we didn't have enough for a complete round so I suggested putting the money into the charity pot, but dear old Staler would have none of this. At first I thought he was about to show his largesse and make up the difference for a round of drinks, but no! He went one step further he proceeded to thank the bus driver and handed over the money to him by way of a tip. What a man, what a Birk! I then reminded him that the cost of his ticket included the cost of a ticket for the driver as well as a couple of quid for the driver!!! When I grow up I want to be a Coleridge Bus Driver, the money's fantastic.

I have to say that Saturday was one of the best day's I have had here in Prawle. I would like to thank the following for making it a great day out:-

Richie, Steven & John T, Bill, Rich C, Roddy, Chris R, DHS, Mr K, Shaun & Burt T and a special thanks to Russ & Roger who made the journey from Norwich and our driver Steve

(he's loaded now) Manchip.

I must have caught a bug of some description because the following day I felt very poorly, fortunately it only lasted for one day!

I didn't mention New Year's Eve. As some of you may recall, the previous year was something of an eye opener for me. This year I planned ahead, the night before was a bit of a dry run inasmuch as we hada a quiz night that went really well. Statler was our quiz master and without the aid of a microphone he tried his best to be heard over the assembled rabble. His cohort, Waldorf who was not participating was heard to mumble about the annoyance of not being able to talk during the quiz - I guess the old saying is right, "You can please some of the people...." The quiz was a success and we raised £360.00 for the Blond McIndoe Research Foundation. http://www.blondmcindoe.com/help-remember-a-charity.shtm It had been touch and go that we would manage it at all because we found ourselves full up with diners who were not going to be involved in the quiz, our chef went sick and every order came in at eactly the same time. We were short staffed, but our friends Russ & Jane were here to muck in and even some of our regulars found themselves in the kitchen washing up or behind the bar serving. We managed to get everyone fed and watered before the locals came for the quiz. A big thank you to David, Katie, Lucy. Ian, Alice, Tim, Kate & Sarah.

The 31st came andI made certain that this year I would be ready - I wasn't going to run out of anything, I ordered plenty of beer, wine and spirits. I had my own recipe Mulled Wine served hot from the bar. I bought in lots of ice (I ran out in 2006) and made sure that everyone knew that I would be having a raffle as well as providing a prize for the best fancy dress costume. That night I dressed myself as Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Carribean and Helen put on a Hula skirt and bikini top (it was a shame I had to open the pub!) and we went and opened the bar. Russ and Jane who were staying in the cottage with their daughter Vicky arrived dressed as Elvis and two of the Pink Ladies from the film Grease. I stood back and took everything in, remembering back to the previous year and also the events of the following New Year's Day when Helen had a major car crash taking herself and the boys back to Northampton. Nothing like that was going to happen as the family live here now. All was well, we were ready for the night's activities. I noticed that the Vodka optic was empty so I went to the spirits cupboard to get another bottle my jaw dropped in horror as I realised that I had every spirit known to man apart from Vodka!!! Frantic phone calls and a last minute rescue from the cricket team captain Shawn Taylor who raided the local Thresher's store saved the day. We were ready to rock & roll, well Russ was in his Elvis suit.

What Blog?

I am reliably informed that I have been (or at least, up until August 2007) writing a blog. Now someone please show me where it says that you must post on a less than six monthly basis? So anyway, I thought I would bring you up to date with events that have transpired since my last missive.


August hit me like a runaway train. We were busy every day from opening to closing and it was hard going. The biggest plus was Lucy our 'Girl Friday', she provided support and encouragement as well as making certain that Helen and I had opportunities for some time out with the children. One of the biggest difficulties I have found is giving the children quality time - so thank you lucy for your kindness. During August we were visited by my old mate Russ, who some of you now know. He's a diamond geezer. He enjoyed helping behind the bar and when we really found ourselves in deep doo doo after our chef went off sick Russ and his wife Jane came to our assistance and offered their support and encouagement. This was backed up by the one hundred percent commitment given to us by Ian, Becky, Anne, Alice and Holly our superb kitchen and waiting staff. I must also mention Sarah who is barmaid of the year here at the Provi'.


September proved to be a bonus. We had an Indian Summer of sorts and whilst not making up the lost revenue of July, it went some way to providing a little income out of season. School started again and I found myself struggling to make time to get all of my jobs done in time to open the pub each day. With the nights drawing in and a gradual change in the weather we had to start bringing Sailor, our horse, in each night. The downside of this is the need to muck out his stable daily. This takes at least an hour a day out of my normal routine. Obviously I also have to factor in the time necessary to enjoy a coffee and a chat with David and Katie who own the house where Sailor is stabled.



October - November - December!!!



Trade dropped off dramatically, but more so because of the weather. However, there were some bright moments. We hosted the East Prawle Cricket Club annual dinner. I was very nervous about the whole thing. You really want to provide a first class experience to people and more so because they are your local customers, but to actually shut the pub for a saturday night in order to serve food and drink to the village cricket team is a gamble. There were certain people who thought it was wrong to host a private function in the pub. We had to weigh this up against the potential gain from providing a quality evening's entertainment to a captive audience. I hope we made the right choice?



On the first of Decemeber we celebrated our first year in the pub. We had the Peter Edwards Splinter Group playing live music and I found myself in drag again. I'm not sure why I did this, but people seemed mildly amused and worryingly I receieved a few proposals that night!

The band played old favourites plus a selection of recently written material. There is a video on MySpace http://www.myspace.com/redbullets these guys are great and wil be back during 2008.

As we neared Christmas I desperately hoped for an increase in business, but alas this was not to be. Things stayed quiet right up to Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day Helen and I tried hard to make the pub warm and welcoming. We roasted chestnuts on the fire and with help from Anne Blyth, Sarah trinick and David Hampden-Smith I joined in with some hand bell ringing. We had only managed a short period of practice prior to this performance, but I think we got away with it. There was a marvellous atmosphere that day and I hope we can recreate it throughout the year. After everyone left I cooked a goose for our Christmas Dinner with the invaluable help of my eldest son Sam and Helen. Helen's Mum and Dad were here as well and we all stuffed ourselves silly that evening before I collapsed in heap on the sofa.

So here we are in January a new year and a challenge to make the pub busier. Helen and I are desperate to make the pub work, but it is a business and it is about results. We hope for the best.

I will be posting again shortly with the tale of a recent rugby trip where certain members of our little community became legend. I am now familiar with the "BEST DAMN PUB IN PLYMOUTH".

Stay tuned....

I am constantly reminded by all and sundry, that I have not posted for ages. Well, some of that is due to having been very busy and some of it is because I have been uncertain in what to write. Yes, there have been lots of things happening and yes that should have provided plenty to put here, but despite all the going-ons at the Provi’ I have been having an inner battle. Do I or don’t I. It really is decision time for us. Summer, (the holiday season) is almost over, we have a winter to look forward to and we need to get a rather large mortgage sorted out on the Provi’ – or do we?
So I will provide you with a list of events that have happened here in no particular order and later I will give you a much more detailed account of all that has happened along with the current position in my decision making process:
Russ & Jane visited and ended up working here.
Someone put his underpants on the wrong way round and had difficulties in taking a pee. That same someone had his teeth eaten by a furry friend.
Statler and Waldorf were at the bar and having both indulged in slightly larger than usual quantities of alcohol, had the following discourse: Statler went to the loo and on his return said, “That’s a f**kin’ great geranium out there!” Waldorf responds with, “Don’t be f**kin stupid it’s nothing f**kin great about it when it’s rainin’ out there.”
I played some cricket.
I didn’t play some cricket.
I worked my balls off.
I now understand the word Grockle.
I had fun with the kids on a boat.
I had two days back in Northampton.
Helen got incredibly peed off with me.
Helen gave me a kiss and a hug.
Steve and Claire visited us.
Mon and Melv visited us.
I saw my mum.
I still serve beer.
We had two days in the middle of our busiest period without a chef.
The staff here showed us that they care and helped us through a really difficult time.
More to follow……………….

The weather has been atrocious and has hit takings significantly. We will miss our July target by a country mile, I just hope that August brings a heat wave, but somehow I doubt it. Even the competition around the corner has seemed quieter than usual, but they will benefit next week from a play being held on the green. I might pay someone to walk around with a sandwich board saying, "There are two pubs in this village - try the better one!"

Been a while, I know! I just don't seem to get the time at the moment, but I'm trying to make amends now. Since my last posting we have seen Statler celebrate his 125th birthday. He invited several of his cronies to join him in a celebratory drink at the Provi on Monday lunchtime. Despite the absence of teeth, they all managed to eat scampi and chips washed down by a few pints of my latest beer - Quercus Prospect. Their combined age was so large that I don't have enough room for all of the noughts, but they had a good time until the nurse came to wheel them back to their home for the confused and bewildered.

In August my friend Russ will visit with his wife Jayne. His regular calls remind me of what a left behind - A profitable business, nine to five hours, regular time off and a nice car to drive around in. Thank God I opted for an easier life!

Today is Max's fifth birthday. He is currently with his grandparents in Northampton, but will be back at the weekend with Joe his little brother and Sam his fouteen year old big brother. Five is a big age to reach in Max's world and when we phoned him this morning he seemed very happy with the presents he had received. He is football mad and he has been given a large goal for the pub garden.

I played cricket for East Prawle last weekend and although we lost I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was bowled out for nought on the second ball I faced. This wouldn't have been so bad, but the bowler looked to be approximatelt 11 years of age! I managed to take a wicket and don't think I gave too many runs away during my bowling spell.

Helen is working like a mad thing. Tomorrow she is taking the day off and I want her to relax, but I doubt she will listen to me.

Gavin has really made his mark now at the pub. His food is great and he turns it out with amazing speed. We are just about there with the main menu and Gav' has also put on some really interesting specials.

Sailor has settled in at West prawle House and is in love with a mare called Arian. We go to feed him and Charlie has a great time roaming around the fileds and getting scared by the chickens. The boys enjoy visiting and collecting snails. They thoughfully brought them into the house last weekend when we were having coffee with David and Katie. We found countless snails climbing the walls in an escape attempt! David and Katie have a beautiful house and I would advise anyone wanting nice B & B to give them a call. Their link is on this blog, as is Welle House another lovely location to stay. Mo's breakfasts there are a thing of legend.

Anyway must go now - beer to put on.

Tim

We've got a new sign and I think it looks great, let me know what you think.

This week we said goodbye, albeit temporarily to a great member of staff. Lucy has been helping behind the bar for the past few weeks and did she ever make an impact! Everyone enjoyed her company and nothing is ever a problem for that girl. She works tirelessly and has become part of the family. She is spending the next few weeks looking after relatives dogs in London, whilst completing an English teaching course. On the day she left, she received the news that she had gained her degree; a 2-1 with honours, so well done Lucy and come back soon!

Statler and Waldorf have been in fine fettle, insults and moaning to the fore, as well as enjoying copious amounts of my latest beer; Quercus Prospect. They now have their own ceremonial seats at the bar and last weekend held court over us all under a blackboard that reads, “Statler & Waldorf sit here bitching about life, the way only two expert curmudgeons can!”

On Saturday the cricket team lost to a team of teachers from Filton, Bristol. Filton was the home of the first Concorde, why did we let BA stop her flying? She was the finest, sleekest, most beautiful aircraft ever designed to carry passengers. Ok, she had a carbon footprint the size of Hawaii and most mortals couldn’t afford the ticket unless they had won the national lottery, but she was ours (apart from a little bit of French stuff, probably the champagne on board!). I digress; the teachers beat us by eleven runs. They came to the Provi’ to celebrate their win and drank Prospect by the jug. We had a full bar and lots of people eating Gavin’s excellent food. At about 20:45 the diners were somewhat surprised to find themselves serenaded by the cricketing teachers. They formed a circle and started singing popular songs. Statler bolted to the other side of the bar with a worried look on his face. I don’t know if he thought they might ask him to join in or if he was simply embarrassed by this sudden outburst. Everyone found it amusing. By the fifth song I was beginning to think that it might be best if they stopped, so I gave them all a measure of scotch. All this did was lubricate their vocal chords and they started belting out a Queen song! Eventually they finished and calm was restored. They were a great bunch of guys and it will be good to see them again in the future.

Helen is still driving miles and miles each week. She is travelling on a daily basis to places like Camberley, Coventry, and Bristol, and on a good day Exeter. The South West has some odd locations in it. I am now regularly doing the school run and getting to see a lot of the kids. This is great, but it is also hard work. Max is keen to please, but Joe has his own agenda. Usually just as I am about to take them to school I find Joe covered in mud grinning from ear to ear as he proudly shows me his find of twenty snails from the beer garden!
The weather has been dire, takings are down and next week we will not have Gavin on Monday or Tuesday, so it will be food for only five nights. Still I’m sure it could be worse! I’ll let you know how we get on…

Some ramblings to be going on with.

So, we took over a pub and were full of fine plans and ideas. Within a short space of time we realised that it wasn’t important to change much about the Provi’, more a case of enhancing what was already there. A few more lights, a log fire blazing in the winter and a smile for the customers. It started well. Our chef; Karen, began to produce mouth watering food and people came from all over to taste her dishes. Things looked promising and we looked forward with enthusiasm. At first the long hours didn’t seem to matter. I would see Helen and the boys each weekend, although it used to shoot by and before I knew it they would b making their way back to Northampton. Then each day would slip into the next, I would cat nap when the opportunity arose and looked forward to the time when the takings would increase sufficiently to take on additional staff to allow me a break from the bar. Costs never decrease, but takings improved and targets started to be achieved. Throughout this time Karen was working six nights each week as well as trying to look after her young son and maintain a semblance of family life. The hours needed to make the kitchen work became too much and understandably Karen felt that she needed to hand in her notice. We found ourselves facing a predicament; we needed a new chef and quick. We advertised the position and even offered accommodation for the right candidate. We were contacted by several people who all seemed interested in the room and its potential view as well as needing to know how far the beaches are from the pub. When asked how experienced they were in the kitchen there was a long pause. Fortunately we were then contacted by a local chap called Gavin Stevens from Kingsbridge. Gavin had just returned from working in Australia and wanted to settle down in this area. His qualifications and experience were ideal and it didn’t take long to offer him the position. So here we are a few weeks down the line, the food is still great and the Provi’ continues its march towards profitability.

So what of us?

We have found the past few weeks extremely difficult. I cannot pretend otherwise. The boys are of an age when they need constant attention and rightfully so, Helen is working long hours and travelling long distances. I have to admit that over the last few weeks we have seriously questioned our future here at the Provi’.

No member of staff will ever have the commitment to a business that the owner has and we have had to accept that we are hostages to that self same commodity of staff commitment. We are so reliant on the food side of the business and we have already invested a large sum of money into this, but it is very much in the hands of others and that is not necessarily the way we want things to be. It would be very easy to leave the pub and just live in our cottage; I could have lots of quality time with the kids and see a lot more of Helen.

So what do we do? Well f**k it – I am not a quitter, so we will continue. I will endure the insults of Mr. K. (Statler) and the deliberations on the quality of my beer by Mr. B. (Waldorf) as well as enjoying the company of VP, the Euchre and cricket team as well as the host of other locals who regularly visit us.